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Most couples who are trying to conceive would agree that waiting for the results of their pregnancy test is an utterly nerve-wracking experience.<\/p>\n
After you\u2019ve peed on a stick, the disappointment of looking at a BFN (big fat negative) can be overwhelming, especially if you\u2019ve been waiting to start a family for some time.<\/p>\n
\u201cA negative pregnancy result is often a stressful outcome, with multiple failures leading to couples feeling helpless and eventually losing hope,\u201d notes SmartParents expert Dr Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness.<\/p>\n
He adds, \u201cThe stress can also cause difficulties in sleep and appetite, as well as anxiety about having to try again and again. As stress increases, one may feel irritable, leading to relationship conflicts.\u201d<\/p>\n
Though staying positive is tough during this period of uncertainty, it\u2019s absolutely essential to your marital relationship, as well as your mental and emotional well-being.<\/p>\n
We suggest ways to cope with yet another negative pregnancy result.<\/p>\n
\u201cMost couples will receive a negative result first, and this is completely normal and expected. The chances of pregnancy each month is only around 30 per cent. But after one year of trying, the chances increase to around 80 to 85 per cent.\u201d<\/p>\n
1. Know that many couples are going through the same thing<\/span><\/p>\n Receiving a negative result is extremely frustrating \u2015 no question about it. After all, we all know couples who conceive without even seeming to try at all.<\/p>\n However, Dr Liana Koe, obstetrician and gynaecologist at Thomson Medical Centre\u2019s STO+G Practice, points out that the majority of couples don\u2019t actually get pregnant within the first few months of trying.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s important to realise that most couples will receive a negative result first, and this is completely normal and expected,\u201d she says. \u201cThe chances of pregnancy each month is only around 30 per cent. But after one year of trying, the chances increase to around 80 to 85 per cent.\u201d<\/p>\n Therefore, she advises not putting unnecessary pressure on yourself or your spouse. Rather, accept that waiting (and receiving a negative result) is part of the process of trying for a baby, and that many couples are in the same boat. So, keep your hopes up, and look forward to the next month and an increase in your chances of conceiving.<\/p>\n 2. Focus on the positives, not the negative<\/span><\/p>\n Both Drs Koe and Lim also advise that you concentrate on the good things in your life.<\/p>\n Dr Koe says, \u201cTrying for a baby is a good thing, and the process (not just the result) should be enjoyed. Focus on the good parts of the process, like spending quality time with your partner.\u201d<\/p>\n Rather than just fixate on conceiving, couples should maintain a strong relationship with each other, and continue going on dates or doing activities together as normal, Dr Lim states.<\/p>\n He also cautions, \u201cBeing overly obsessive about getting pregnant increases the anxiety and will make it harder to conceive.\u201d<\/p>\n Incidentally, the worst thing you can do when trying for a baby is to put your life on hold. So, commit several hours a day to simply enjoy each other\u2019s company, like doing fun things that make you happy, such as taking a vacation or having a good meal at a restaurant.<\/p>\n 3. Maintain a good support system<\/span><\/p>\n Throughout this period, don\u2019t hesitate to lean on loved ones and friends for support. Continue to communicate with your spouse honestly and openly as you\u2019ll need an avenue to voice your frustrations.<\/p>\n However, Dr Lim reminds couples not to blame each other or oneself for the failure to conceive. \u201cPlaying the blame game or feeling guilty is simply not useful and will make the situation even more tense,\u201d he warns.<\/p>\n Do also confide in people who will be empathise with your struggle, like your closest friends, siblings, parents or even a therapist. Turning to a good support system can be a great source of encouragement, as you\u2019ll know that you aren\u2019t in this alone.<\/p>\n 4. Adopt a healthy lifestyle<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cRegular exercise improves both your health and your mood, releasing endorphins to reduce stress,\u201d Dr Koe explains. \u201cCommitting to exercise and a healthy lifestyle together will not only increase your fertility potential, but give you something to focus on other than pregnancy.\u201d<\/p>\n Besides exercise, maintaining a nutritious diet is also essential for boosting one\u2019s fertility as unhealthy eating affects a woman’s menstrual cycle and ovulation.<\/p>\n Dr Koe elaborates, \u201cExcessive fat cells in our body (due to an unhealthy diet) affect the release of female hormones, causing problems with ovulation. Research has shown that for women with a high BMI (>30kg\/m2), gradual weight loss to a healthy BMI can result in the return of normal ovulation and improve their pregnancy outcomes.\u201d<\/p>\n Given how healthy living not only keeps your spirits up but increases your chances of conception, make it a daily priority.<\/p>\n Dealing with a negative pregnancy result is already bound to cause some pressure, so don\u2019t add to it by aiming for that perfect \u201covulation period\u201d\u2026pregnancy chances are highest a few days before ovulation, and decrease just after ovulation occurs.<\/p>\n 5. Don\u2019t stress over the timing<\/span><\/p>\n Dealing with a negative pregnancy result is already bound to cause some pressure, so don\u2019t add to it by aiming for that perfect \u201covulation period\u201d. It has been shown that pregnancy chances are highest a few days before ovulation, and decrease just after ovulation occurs.<\/p>\n Dr Koe notes, \u201cCounting the days and trying to predict your ovulation period can be stressful, and stress frequently causes our natural ovulation to occur before or even after the expected timing.\u201d<\/p>\n As such, she recommends that couples have sexual intercourse two to three times a week (without calculating excessively) for the best chance of conceiving. Doing so is also best for sperm regeneration, which takes at least two days.<\/p>\n So, if you\u2019re trying to conceive, simply prioritise having sex regularly. Aiming for a particular time of the month results in unnecessary anxiety as you might worry about how busy you and your spouse might be.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/stogpractice.com\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/Conceiving-6-ways-to-handle-a-BFN-when-youre-trying-for-a-baby-2.jpeg\")
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